Child Custody, Visitation and Support Attorney
When children are involved in divorce, emotional and financial issues become much more complicated. Whether you are considering a divorce, in the earliest stages, or facing a complex dispute involving custody and/or child support during or post-divorce, it is important to take immediate action to protect your rights and the best interests of your children. At The Law Office of Rita Ros-Planas, I offer over 24 years of experience in family law and custody issues and can effectively protect your immediate and long-term interests.
For advocacy you can trust to protect your rights and the best interests of your children, call me directly at 757-491-1331 or contact me by e-mail to schedule an initial consultation.
Child custody
In every determination involving children, the primary concern is the best interests of the child. When making child custody and visitation determinations, the court will look at who the primary caretaker is and has been, and who can best communicate with teachers, doctors, and other professionals regarding the child's best interests.
Practically speaking, at the time of the divorce, the judge will ask with whom the children have been living and whether they are doing okay. If the current physical custody arrangement is working, that is a strong factor that the judge will consider. I can best explore all of your options to help you assert your rights in court.
Visitation (AKA Parenting time)
In protecting your rights to visitation, it is important to work with an attorney who understands the need for creativity and flexibility to address the needs of the entire family. When I started practicing in family law, the standard visitation arrangement was to allow fathers to see kids every other weekend. Twenty years ago, I was one of a handful of lawyers who fought for the right of non-custodial parents to see their children during the week requesting that Wednesday night visitation be added to the court orders and child custody agreements. This is now the standard in this area. Parents without primary physical custody may also have custody of the children every other holiday, school breaks and a longer period of time in the summer. The custodial parent also needs to feel the children are taken care of by the other parent and will appreciate a "break" from parental obligations.
For more information about factors found in the Virginia Code regarding child custody and visitation, click here
Child support orders and obligations
Child support is governed by state statute ("guidelines"). In Virginia, the court will take the gross income of father and mother, the number of children, the cost of childcare and health insurance, and other factors and calculate the recommended amount of child support based on a formula. As your attorney, I will ensure that the court has accurate numbers to be entered into the formula to ensure you collect what you are owed, or so that you are not liable for unmanageable obligations.
For more information about factors found in the Virginia Code regarding child support, click here
Taking Care of the Children During the Custody Litigation or Divorce Process
Unfortunately, children may not be able to articulate their feelings during a divorce and custody/parenting time ("visitation") litigation. One of the main reasons is that they are too young to really put words to their emotions. Another reason, of course, is that they do not want to take sides and risk losing the affection of one of the parents.
As one judge said to two very angry parents, paraphrased: It is not your children's fault that you decided to get a divorce and turn their lives upside down. It is your obligation to make sure that they have as much stability as possible as well as love and attention from you during this painful process.
In my experience, even the best parents are going to forget that the children should come first at all times. I hope that the following recommendations, based on my experience in family law for almost twenty-five years, years of experience as a guardian ad litem, as well as a graduate degree in psychology, will be helpful:
- Do not put down or say demeaning things about the other parent in the presence of the children. Try to control family members and friends in this regard.
- Make sure the children understand that it is in no way their fault that the marriage is ending or that there is any conflict.
- Try to maintain as much stability as possible for the children, including staying in the same schools and neighborhoods, maintaining the same extracurricular activities, churchgoing, family traditions, including family reunions, holidays and vacations.
- Always let the other parent know what is going on with the child whether it is medical, legal, economic or educational.
- Do not introduce or expose your children to your new romantic relationships for at least the first year following separation. When you have the children with you, you should focus on them and not on a new person in your life. Further, you may have many "transitional" relationships following separation.
- Never ask the children to intercede in communications with the other parent. They are not to deliver or request child support checks, they are not to give messages to the other parent, they are not to be involved in this type of communication between you and the other parent. Do not "grill" them when they return from spending time with the other parent.
- Learn to communicate with the other parent in a business-like, courteous manner. Leave out editorial and angry remarks from all communications regardless of how much you are provoked.
- Never ask children or allow them to make choices as to where they are going to live and with whom. That is the responsibility of the grown-ups.
- Understand that reconciliation may be off the table for you and your spouse, but may be the secret desire and fantasy of your children.
- Consider individual and/or family therapy and co-parenting classes or therapy.
- Take one or more parenting courses and read books on parenting.
- Do not be tempted to discuss inappropriate adult topics with your children.
- You will need a clear head. If you have issues with alcohol or drugs, deal with it!
- Encourage your children's relationship with the other parent's family.
- Do not "buy" your children's affections to win them to your side or assuage your guilt.
- Remember that the co-parenting relationship does not end when the child emancipates. There will be graduations from college, marriages, birth of grandchildren, funerals, and all the stages that life brings.
- Above all, listen to your children to understand how they are feeling and always let them know how much you love them.
Call 757-491-1331 or contact me by e-mail to schedule an initial consultation with an experienced Virginia Beach, Norfolk and Chesapeake lawyer. Se habla español. Our law office offers plenty of free parking for clients.
